I See You are Pregnant Again
66Hoping for a Boy this Time ?
Pregnant for the second time, I was with my two year old daughter shopping. We met a stranger on the street who made over the curly head toddler. I braced myself for the phrase, I knew I was about to hear. I am not clairvoyant, but can almost with certainty predict the upcoming question. "So,you're hoping for a boy this time?" I have attempted to answer this question again and again. I have been pregnant five times. After the fourth girl, and into my fifth pregnancy, it was just assumed by strangers, friends, and even some family members, that my husband and I were "going one more time, for that boy." It never seemed to occur to the average person, that after four girls, we might be 'trying' for another girl. Maybe we wanted an all girl's basketball team. Maybe my husband was one of those guys who embraced his daughters, and delighting in them wanted still one more. It is not impossible.
What is that, "hoping for a boy"? Is it a 'tell' on the part of the one who is inquiring ? Does the question hint that 'really, everybody knows boys are better than girls'? Or, is the stranger telling me, "have a girl, have a boy, be done." The phrasing of the question seems to indicate the latter. So, upon seeing me, very pregnant, with four girls in tow, the stranger takes it upon himself to make an assumption. Certainly if I had given birth to a boy, directly after the first girl, my family would be complete. Maybe I am too hard on the stranger. It is not impossible that he was simply attempting to share in my expectancy. Whatever the reason for the inquiry, I cringed every time I heard it. Especially, when it was uttered in front of my girls. I am willing they assume the only reason they exist, at least numbers two through four, is that we were attempting to upgrade to a better model. Which brings me to number five. Number five was born, a big, beautiful, bouncing, adorable, baby boy! And what a boy! He is just what we needed number five to be. God gives us what we need. It is always best. The first four times,'best' came in pink, number five in blue. Still, as much as I adored him from the very beginning, I dreaded the new comment I was sure to hear. "So you finally got that boy !"
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CommentsLoading...
I had two boys , two girls. Who knows why. we always said we don't care what it is as long as it's healthy. This was pre the days of scans determining the sex before birth. Yes, I guess the dreaded question could also be percieved as hurtful!
sixty
so the fathers are asked the same questions too?
Yeah, what is the thing with people thinking everybody should have a boy!
Thanks for hitting me back. Best wishes to you.
R Burow
Ohhh I just think it is human nature to want to experience both sex's...
My mom had all girls , her mom had all girls, I broke the 3 generation of girls with a wonderful boy and it was fun...
I think they are easier to raise also...I went on to have 2 more girls but they have an Older brother and I am sure your boy is a joy and one you wouldn't have wanted to miss.
So enjoy, which I am sure you do and don't even think about such trivial matters...God Bless You...G-Ma :O) Hugs
This was a nice one to read....I am in the opposite boat. Had 2 boys and no girls. And I am thinking that is the way its gonna be for me. Nice to hear someone on the opposite side of the tracks. =)
You are so right! Pregnant third time round with two gorgeous boys already, and everybody cheerfully blurts out in front of them - 'so you're hoping for a girl this time?' NO! I'm hoping for a happy healthy baby to add to our family. And what did I get? Another gorgeous boy to add to the happy grubby chaos. Hoorah for families in all shapes and sizes and well done for a great hub!
LOL, I bet you hear that a lot still (got your boy). I bet my Mom went through the same thing! She ended up having 5 children, the 4th was a boy. She just loved a big family!
BTW--You have a beautiful family!
My aunt had four boys and never had a girl; and my sis now has three boys. Children are a gift from God and I am sure that God knows what to give us best. Nice read, thanks.
Thanks for all the great input. Whether we have boys, or girls, I think this is one that really hits a nerve. Still, I think down deep, people are really attempting to be kind.
Well what I was going to say is basically like what Chris already said at top. I figure people want to make conversation and if they don't already have something else in mind to say they look around for something easy to talk about, and a row of all girls is just too easy! :-)
My parents only had me, one boy, that's it - mom had an injury in a war plant in WWII and could not have any more. Wish I had sisters. My wife Anne had 8 sisters, and 3 brothers. We have a daughter, now 31, and a son, now 28.
Congratulations on your new bouncing baby boy. Great picture! Now I have to go look for mine to upload to my new hubpages membership.... Here's my old MySpace page, but that picture is old, the childen were much younger - http://www.myspace.com/gotodan
Good hub, I really enjoyed it! It's amazing, the things that people say out loud, without even assuming that they might be offensive. We had a boy, and a girl, and when I turned up pregnant a third time (totally planned, BTW) I got the one word comment "Whoops!" an awful lot. It's really rude, but I've learned to laugh. People also asked "Well, since you got pregnant a third time, what are you hoping for?" I would always reply "A Monkey."
Keep your chin up, you have wonderful healthy kids, that is what matters.
Of course you are right. I am very thankful for my five blessings. Thanks for stopping by.
You have a beautiful family! We had one daughter and four sons. Although I had all brothers. I just prayed for a healthy child and was elated each time. Although I must say I am thankful that my last one was born over twenty years ago. Some times people just don't know what to say.
This was a great hub!
Thank you DeBorrah for stopping by. I was like you, "elated each time." It must be fun for you and your daughter, seeing how you are in the same boat as she, with all brothers. She could never say "you don't relate":)
Thanks for reading. I hope you will return.
We have tow girls. Everyone now asking when are you going for a son. This kind of question is natural
Thanks Jacobkuttyta,
Thanks so much for stopping by.
Perhaps it is a natural question, but it is also annoying.
It hints at the idea that the second girl was simply an attempt to 'get that boy', and if you had a boy the second time around after the girl, you were certainly complete as a family. I don't think people really mean this, but it is
how it appears.
This is a neat story and you have a beautiful family. Thanks for sharing about "finally" having a boy. :)
Thanks James. They are growing up way too fast, including that boy:)
I enjoyed reading your hub, often people don't think much before they speak, and then they are completely unaware of the hurt that may be in some of their comments.
In the main I don't think that most people set out to say hurtful things they are just thoughtless and not speaking out of spite or malice.
You have a great family you are well blessed.
maggs224,
Thanks for taking the time to read my hub. I agree with you. I do not believe the average person intends to be hurtful or malicious. Truth be told I never really took it that way. I was only afraid my girls might pick up on the notion that 'boys are better than girls'. I am sure that I have been equally as insensitive at times. No one gets it right all the time right?:)
Thanks again for stopping by.
I had 3 girls in a row and everyone assumed we were done when the 4th was a boy...we had our family "complete". I am now pregnant with #8! I bet you can just imagine the things people say NOW! Enjoyed reading your hub and you have a wonderful looking family.
Specialk3749,
I can only imagine. Wow eight, how wonderful!I think there is something to be said for big families. If we were just a little younger...well let's just say we may have given you a run for your money:)
Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting on this hub, God bless you and all your little treasures!
Cris A Level 2 Commenter 3 years ago
R. Burow
This was a nice read and I appreciate your candor, wit and honesty. But now you made me think. Hmm I think that the "So,you're hoping for a boy this time?" and its many permutations are caused by the fact that people have nothing better to say, or do not want the trouble of being inventive in their conversation with you. Oh well, I'll never know would I? I have never been and will never be pregnant! LOL Thanks for sharing :D